20 May

I’ve been away from the blog for a few days– yes, I know that’s not how this is supposed to be going, but life is weird. Anyway, I’m going to post a proper update on stuff that happened while I was away later; right now, I need to vent about boring and frustrating work stuff.

I work at a large retail store in the freight department, and recently we’ve been receiving more product than usual due to a seasonal increase in customers.

While the amount of work has increased, the amount of working hours available for my department have not– in fact, my hours have been lower than usual.

So, instead giving the already trained and seasoned associates who have open availability more hours, they’ve decided to hire two new part time associates.

Yes, they would rather spend more money to train new people than reward their loyal, hardworking associates with more hours.

I could understand if we were all full-time, and more hours would mean that we would be getting overtime, but that is not the case– everyone is part-time. Why not bump us up to full-time for the season?

Because logic does not apply here, apparently.

Time to get a new job.

Later.
- Will

Lazy Days, Restless Nights

13 May

Visiting Billings is weird for a number of reasons, but the one that always sticks out is how much hasn’t changed since I left here two years ago.

New buildings have been built in places that were empty fields a few years ago, new people hang out in the places that I used to haunt in high school, and few of my friends still live here. But virtually everything else has stayed the same, and that is what shocks me the most.

It’s like walking into the past, but the things you cared about the most in the past have changed; the only thing that stayed the same was the scenery.

I miss being able to call my friends up and meet them somewhere, and then just go out and do something– you know, the kinds of things that are easy when you live in the same town.

That doesn’t happen anymore, unless we’re all in town for a holiday or some other rare event, and it sucks.

Today was a day that brought that knowledge back to the front of my mind as I spent most of the day bored at my parents’ house. I did some chores to help out, I ran an errand for my dad, and I watched some cable TV (a luxury I don’t have back at my apartment). And while that wasn’t the worst way to spend a day, it definitely wasn’t the best way.

Tonight should be different though, as I’ve made plans to spend time with the few friends that still live here. Hopefully we’ll tear up the town like we used to back in the day.

I’m bringing my camera out with me, so maybe I’ll post some shots of what happened later. Stay tuned.

- Will

P.S. For those of you who also use Tumblr, you can check out my other blog, the wco show, here. (Feel free to follow me on there too, if you like! I’ll probably follow back.)

P.S.S. For the people who just recently started following my blog on here, thank you! Once I figure out how the following feature works on WordPress, I’ll be sure to follow you back.

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Motivation to Keep Moving Forward

12 May

Yes, I missed another day. No, I don’t have a legitimate excuse for missing a day.

Instead, I’ll fill you in on what happened.

I had an eight-hour shift at work as a cart-pusher, and it was exactly as exciting as you can imagine it would be…

If you have a poor imagination, you could recreate the experience by pacing back and forth in a confined area, carrying a rock from one end to the other, over and over again, for eight-hours (oh, and you get two fifteen-minute breaks, and a lunch break).

After work, I drove an hour-and-a-half to come home for a few days. Now, I’m in Billings, spending time with my family.

The point I was trying to get to at the beginning of this post was how incredibly motivating it was to spend an eight-hour shift pushing carts… I’ll get back to that now.

As I pushed shopping carts back and forth, I couldn’t help but to think about how incredibly menial the task was. I kept thinking about how I could have been spending my time doing something so much more productive, and interesting, and just better than pushing carts.

I scored in the top 10% of the nation on my ACT’s. Why the hell am I pushing carts?!?

It bugged me. It made me frustrated. It made the shift drag on for a small eternity.

….

I can’t wait to go back to school.

 

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The Lonely, Bored, and Restless Summer

10 May

Today was an especially depressing day.

I awoke late in the day, due in part to an evening spent drinking rum and playing video games (it was Thirsty Thursday, after all). After realizing that I woke up late, my motivation to do anything fun, or creative, or exciting quickly waned, and I lost my drive to go out and do just about anything. I probably wouldn’t have even left the apartment today if my hunger didn’t stir me to pick up some fast food for dinner.

Yes, I do realize that is kind of pathetic. All I can say is that I’m in a bit of a rut.

Being in Bozeman when school is not in session is a different experience. Some things are good: the weather is amazing, the trees are finally looking alive again, and I can work as much as I want without worrying about falling behind in school. Other things, however, are quite bad: Hyalite is closed until next week, most of the people my age went home for the summer, and I don’t have a lot of friends staying in Bozeman for the summer.

Also, I have a fairly large amount of free time (which is nice), but I don’t have much motivation to do anything fun with it (which is not nice).

There are plenty of things that I know I could be doing with this time; I know I could be reading a few books that I’ve been meaning to devour, for instance. I could also be writing more, or at least coming up with some ideas for an extended piece of writing (ex. a novella, or a full-fledged novel). I could be working out. I could be going out for photo shoots.

I know that I could be doing all of those things– I just don’t feel like it.

I don’t know why that I feel this way, either. It’s like some sort of weird funk has descended upon my usually happy and upbeat personality, and I don’t know how to get away from it. I can still force myself to do the things I enjoy, but it definitely feels forced, and I don’t enjoy those activities as much as I used to.

I was hoping that being away from school, and out in the sunshine would help me to break through this, but it doesn’t seem to be helping much.

On the bright side, there’s plenty of summer left to get out of this weird funk. Hopefully, I’ll be over it soon.

Until next time,

- Will

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Work, Sleep, Repeat.

9 May

One day into my daily blogging venture, and I already missed a day. Whoops.

I would feel more disappointed about missing a day/post if yesterday was more exciting. I spent the first half of the day watching movies and sleeping (my sleep schedule has been really messed up lately), and I spent the second half at work. Fortunately, I have two-days off (today and tomorrow), so there should be plenty of time to do some fun stuff (as well as catch up on all of my “adult” responsibilities– like cleaning my apartment).

I’m debating whether or not I want to spend the early hours of today taking care of all of my responsibilities, OR just going outside and enjoying the nice weather. I charged my camera battery yesterday, and it’s looking beautiful outside…

Maybe I should hop on my bike and head to Hyalite? (Or at least throw my bike in my car, drive to the trailhead, and then bike up the mountain.)

Hmm… decisions, decisions…

I’ll let you know what I did with the day later this evening.

Stay tuned,

- Will

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It’s been awhile…

7 May

Hello Internet,

It’s been awhile since we last spoke here, and I’m sure you didn’t expect me to come back. And while I know that my last attempt at a reboot didn’t work out, I’m sure this one will.

A lot of things have changed since my last post. I moved out of my parents’ house, and I’m now living in Bozeman. This will be my first summer away from Billings since before we moved to Montana, and I’m not sure how it will turn out. I’m hoping for a fun-filled summer that recharges my enthusiasm, creativity, and thirst for knowledge; I’m also trying to keep my expectations of this summer realistic.

It’s a bit of a struggle.

In addition to moving to Bozeman, I started dating my girlfriend, Sara, in January. She will be living close by (our relationship thus far has been long-distance, as she goes to school in a town that’s nearly three-hours away), and I look forward to enjoying the summer with her.

The last major change in my life since we last spoke is a bit more difficult to talk about. Jon, my best friend since third grade, passed away in February due to complications with diabetes. His passing has left a very large hole in my life, and nearly three months later, it’s still difficult to believe that he’s really gone. Summer vacation was one of the few times during the year where I could hang out with Jon regularly, and it’s going to be especially weird to go through these next few months without him.

But life must go on, and I’ll do my best to remember the good times I shared with Jon during previous summers, rather than dwell on the fun times we’ve been untimely robbed of.

(Many other things have changed since my last post, but they either weren’t worth mentioning, or I plan to share them with you in a later post.)

I hope to reignite the original spark behind this blog during this go-round. I want to write at least one post daily for the entirety of the summer. I also want to keep the content fresh, exciting, and worth reading.

I also want to have a summer vacation worth writing about.

That’s it– that’s all that you need to know about the blog. Hopefully, I will see you again tomorrow (or sooner!).

Stay tuned,

- Will

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summer reflections on life in general:

21 May

Life is complicated.

When I say that, I’m talking about life in general. As of right now, my life is fairly simple. I don’t have a job (yet! I am actively looking for summer work though, so if you know of some places that are hiring, let me know), so I have quite a bit of free time. I don’t really have any obligations for the next few months either… As far as the summer is concerned, life couldn’t be any less complicated.

As we “zoom out” a bit and take our focus away from just this summer, the scene gets increasingly more complicated. I’ll be headed back to college in late August– something that I’m reminded of almost daily by my parents, who are worried about my current “undecided” major status (something that only became a problem after last semester, when I began to realize that Biochem might not be right for me, and began to “explore my options”).

Just thinking about going back to school in the Fall raises my blood pressure… I have so many things to figure out before then. Do I want to continue majoring in Biochemistry? Should I make a decision now, or should I wait until I get back to campus so I can sit down and talk to the career services counselors?  What classes should I take next semester? Can I afford to stay in the dorms next year? Will I be able to juggle having a part-time job, a full course-load, and a social life?

These questions breed other, more concerning questions, like:

  • Do I really want to go back to school in the Fall?
  • Should I take a year off, move out, save up some money, and then go back to school when I can afford to pay for it all independently?
  • Should I join the military?

Its all very frustrating, and my parents are not helping by pressuring me to make quick decisions that will affect my entire life. I just want to smack my head against the wall, and have fifteen-minutes to think everything through. They don’t understand that I’m a very analytical person, and that I like to think everything through before I make a decision. They want answers. Results. Something solid.

What frustrates me is that they don’t understand that I want all of those things as well. I want to know what I’m going to do for the rest of my life. I want to know what I’m going to be studying for the next four-years. I want to have a job so I can pay for college. From my perspective, they don’t seem to understand that. It feels like they think I’m still a kid who doesn’t have the capacity to think ahead about how all of these decisions are going to affect me, and how hanging out in this “limbo”-zone of indecision isn’t good for anyone– especially me.

I GET ALL OF THAT.I UNDERSTAND. I AM NOT AN IDIOT.

When I think of next semester… I think of it as a fresh start. But the thing about fresh starts is that they are never truly “fresh”; all of the fuck ups you committed before still happened. They’re still on the record. You can’t deny their existence– your existence alone is evidence that you’ve fucked up before. The whole “learn from your mistakes”-thing that our teachers tried to drill into our skulls back in elementary school… I get that now.

It’s too bad it took over ten-years to sink in.

- Will

 

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Friends Alive and Well, Sources Say

16 May

Something happened today… something different from the other days. It was something unexpected after days of near isolation. What was it, you ask?

I established contact with some of my old friends today.

OK, so that probably wasn’t the answer you were expecting, but it’s true; after spending a little over a week in almost total isolation (excluding the two or three days I went out and spent some time with friends), it was nice to finally get back in touch with some friends who were back in town for the summer. I was beginning to think that this certain group of friends met up and decided to vote me out of the group (the sad thing is that I’m only slightly joking about this).

I still haven’t been able to get in touch with Zach (another friend from high school, and he also went to MSU with me this year), though I suspect that this may partially be due to a need for space. We spent a lot of time together back in Bozeman (primarily due to the fact that neither of us had a lot of other friends on-campus). After spending that many consecutive months around the same person with little exposure to other people, I can see why he would be a little reluctant to hang out after only a week apart. In fact, now that I really think about it, I’m really not that disappointed that we haven’t hung out recently. We need some space– like a month’s worth of it, and that entire month filled with spending time around lots of different people– before we hang out again. After that, everything should be cool.

The main reason I tried to get in touch with him during the first week off was due to the fact that nobody else was back in town yet. I mean, there were a few people (Jon, Ryan, other people I know who went to school in Billings or Bozeman, etc.), but the list was pretty small.You gotta work with what’s available, ya know?

Fortunately, other people are back in town, and life is good. I’m going to be hanging out with my friend Ashlynn on Friday night, and I’ll be visiting Josh in Forsyth on Saturday. Plus, there should be a TFK event coming up soon, and I might have a job after this weekend. Summer break can only get better from here, folks.

Its time for bed. See you tomorrow.

- Will

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mediocre monday.

15 May

I think Mondays will always doomed to be the least exciting day of the week, regardless of one’s schedule. Today was not an exception to this expectation; my day went fairly well, it just was not very exciting.

I slept in late today. It was nice to get a full night’s sleep after staying up late, but I really need to start waking up earlier so that my sleep cycle can get back to some semblance of normal. Also, it would be nice to show the doctor that I’m making an attempt to sleep better when I go in for an appointment this Thursday.

I’m not sure if I told you guys about that earlier… Hmm. Well, I have an appointment to see a doctor about my sleeping issues. I also need to get a few shots. It should be a fun morning of needle prodding, questions about my health, and suggestions to avoid drinking caffeine. It should be a “good time.”

An update on the job hunt: I have an interview later this week. It’s a job that could be either really awesome, or really lame depending on the time of day I’m working AND who I’m working with. Either way, I’m definitely looking forward to making money again. I really, really need to save some cash this summer, and the sooner I get a job, the better.

Money and job woes aside, the rest of the day went well. I went over to a friend’s house and played the new Minecraft game for Xbox 360. I was surprised by how intuitive the controls were, and how easy it was to craft objects. I could actually see myself shelling out the cash to buy the game if I had the cash (and a well-functioning Xbox). We played for a few hours, then I left to go home for the night.

Now I’m here, and I’m also ready to get some sleep. Hopefully tomorrow will be a more thrilling day.

- Will

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What Happened Last Week & A Brief Mother’s Day Recap:

14 May

Blog projects are a curious thing. They start out with hope and ambition, and then life comes by and laughs at those silly aspirations, casts them aside, and says, “Here, focus on this. Forget that blogging nonsense.”

In some ways, “life” in this instance has a point; blogging projects aren’t really a major priority, and they should be put aside when other, more important things are happening.

Anyway, let’s get to the reasons why I was too busy “living” to update this damned blog:

  1. I got out of the house for a bit and spent some time with my friends. This week has felt a lot like house arrest, and spending a little time out on the town with some old high school friends brightened my spirits considerably (and I’m sure the coffee and clove cigars helped a bit too).
  2. I’ve been job hunting, though not as actively as I probably should be. I’ve applied for a few places online, and I put my name on a work list at a local utility workers’ union for a general laborer job. I’m going to apply for several more jobs tomorrow, and then head to my old job to see if they’ll let me pick up a few shifts. (I should note that the thought of spending another summer at ***** makes me feel physically ill.)
  3. I’ve been busy doing other things– like sleeping. And mowing the lawn. And feeling like shit.

(When I look at all of these “reasons” for why I haven’t been able to keep this blog updated on a daily basis, they seem like pretty poor excuses. To be honest though, I doubt you would have wanted to read anything that I would have posted during those days. It was a very slow week, and I hoping that it doesn’t become a trend.)

Anyway, now you’re caught up on what happened last week, so let’s get to today: Mother’s Day.

As I’m currently unemployed, I didn’t really have a lot of cash to spend on a gift for my mom. And if you’ve noticed the price of most quality Mother’s Day gifts lately, you probably know that they aren’t very cheap. So I had to put a little more work into this Mother’s Day than the usual “run down to the store, pick out a nice gift and a card”- routine.

I was planning on picking up some fresh-cut flowers and a nice card from the grocery store, but I decided to buy a live flower plant instead (in addition to the nice card). I figured the plant would be a cooler gift in the long run (plus, gerber daisies are some pretty snazzy flowers). I also made my mom pancakes for breakfast; this was apparently quite unexpected, as she felt the need to tell all of her friends that her son made her breakfast.

Now you might be thinking, “So you made your mom breakfast for Mother’s Day… big deal.” Here’s the thing: I don’t usually cook anything. I mean, I’m pretty familiar with microwaving stuff (TV dinners, Hot Pockets, Ramen), toasting Pop-Tarts and toaster waffles, and I’ve cooked Top Ramen on a stovetop. But beyond that, my culinary experience is pretty much non-existent. My dad cooks everything in our house, and I’ve never really had much of an interest in cooking.

So, the fact that I would even be able to cook a decent breakfast was amazing to her, let alone the fact that I chose to to do this for her, on Mother’s Day.

So yeah, I did a pretty good job for Mother’s Day on a budget.

The rest of the day went well. We went to the store to pick up some groceries, mom bought a new purse at the mall, and we had dinner together at home. It was a good day.

I also managed to fit in a little time to work-out at the end of the day. I did a quick warm-up on the elliptical machine, and then went downstairs to lift weights. Now, I just need to lift and do some long-distance running everyday. Oh, and do a lot of situps and crunches (Iwill get those six-pack abs this summer).

That’s all I got for today (and last week). Stay tuned.

- Will

 

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