Week Two: Renewed Focus

Tomorrow marks the beginning of the second week of Summer, and I believe it is time to refocus my efforts toward making this summer more like the one I imagined it would be rather than the summer it has been so far. I need to do whatever I can to avoid being stuck at home, alone and bored, on a perfectly good Summer day. Sure, it is the beginning of summer, but it’s the final summer— I can’t afford to waste  any days.

I know it sounds like I’m a terminal patient when I put it that way, but it’s time to face facts– this is my last summer with my friends in high school. We probably won’t see each other again after graduation for a long time, so I should make the most out of this last year at home. It’s time to live life to the fullest…

Damn, just writing that makes me feel so depressed. Acknowledging that this is the beginning of the end of a major section of my life is scary. But I need to remember the old adage: when one door closes, another opens. This section of my life is coming to an end, but a new one is beginning: adulthood.

Wait– I’m going to be an adult soon? What the hell? Did somebody just hit the freaking fast-forward button on my life?!? I’m only sixteen– I shouldn’t be moving out next year! DAMN!

The sentences above represent how part of me feels about this realization. The next few sentences below represent the other part of how I feel:

About time! I’m tired of feeling dependent upon my parents. I want to move out, start my own life, and not worry about breaking curfew. I can look after myself just fine, thanks. And college– don’t get me started there. Finally some relevant classes that will actually educate me about topics I’m interested in and will actually be useful to me later in life.

It’s difficult to be stuck at a crossroads like this. I know I can’t go back, so complaining about being where I’m at is useless. I can’t just go into the future and begin my adult life either, so dreaming about independence isn’t very productive either. I need to stay focused on the present. I’m a senior in high school. I have a year left of high school. I still have a lot of time before college. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy this year…. that’s what I need to do.

And to do that, I need to begin my senior year the right way by having an enjoyable summer vacation. It’s time to get out the list of things that I wanted to do during the summer that I created during the school year and actually do them!

Staying focused on the present, let’s recap my day: work. I woke up at 8 AM this morning, lounged around the house until the afternoon and then I had to leave for work. I worked from 2:15 PM-9:22 PM on a Sunday (it was the VIP night, so we had extended hours). It sucked. Everyone had to stay late because the restocking process wasn’t completed for two days so we had to finish it tonight. We put everything away and rushed to make sure the store was looking good so we could get the heck out of there.

I’m so tired right now… Really. I’m doing the head bob thing where you keep falling asleep in micro-sleep and then you wake up again… It’s time to go to bed.