Work. Watch. Whisper. Wonder.

Today could easily be described as an emotional roller coaster– then again, most days could be described that way for the average teenager. Today was filled with anticipation, excitement, boredom, hunger, anger, stress, fun, exhaustion, and frustration. I’m excited to go to Butte in a few weeks to see my cousins. I’m tired of feeling completely bored, 24/7. I’m tired of being broke (I really shot myself in the foot this time). I’m tired of feeling stressed from the seemingly enormous workload that is placed on me at work, and the feeling that there is so much to do and so little time. I’m glad that I got to spend some time with my friends, and I enjoyed seeing Despicable Me today. My body is physically exhausted from several consecutive days of little sleep.

I’m excited to go to college. I want to buy things for my dorm room when I walk by the small appliances and bedding section at work. I’ve already picked out a comforter and a toaster (that’s really weird for a guy to do, huh… I need to stay away from that section for a while). The toaster is apart of a set of other small appliances that includes coffee makers, toaster ovens (the world’s most obsolete small appliance that I suddenly have a desire to own), blenders, and food processors. I want to buy textbooks. I want to study. I want to learn. I want to write. I want to believe that print journalism isn’t dying. I want to live in a single dorm because I don’t want to get stuck with a crappy roommate. I don’t want to become a hermit.

I want to buy stuff. Random stuff. Some stuff that is necessary, other stuff that isn’t. I need a haircut. I need to pay off some debts. I need to put money away in savings. I need money for Butte. I need to save up some cash so I can buy clothes for school. I need to change the oil in the car before I go to Butte, and refill the windshield wiper fluid.  I need to clean the car. I want to buy a toolkit for the car in case I get stuck on the side of the road en-route to Butte. I want to buy dorm stuff. I want to buy a laptop case so that my new toy doesn’t get scratched up. I also want to buy a nice mouse for it. I want to buy snacks for the road. I need/want to buy my own car ASAP, but there’s a lot of stuff I need to buy that prevents me from saving money. I’ve also bought a lot of unnecessary things that have also made saving money difficult.

I need to save money. I need to spend money.

I need to make more money.

Money is stupid– correction, the way I spend money is stupid. I like to hang out with my friends. I like to have fun. Most group entertainment costs money. Most of my friends are cheap. I’m cheap too. Most of the time I foot the bill, and most of the time I never get paid back. Most of the time I don’t expect to. I accept this as a gift to them though; a small token of appreciation for their friendship. I don’t like to be used though. I feel that I am used sometimes, especially when I know that some of the people I foot the bill for make the same amount as I do in a single paycheck in only three days. I also consider that they probably have more bills than I do– car insurance, gas (or diesel), etc. But I always feel that I get the short end of the stick when it comes to group spending. I guess everybody feels screwed in group spending situations, though. Money and friends are a dangerous combo, and one that must be taken with a grain of salt. I’ve accepted this for some time now, and I’ve learned that it’s best to never expect payback when you pay for a friend. With that being said, I don’t hold any grudges against my friends when it comes to money. I find that in most cases, good friends will pay you back in some way or another.

Tonight was fun. I went to the movies with Jon and Anne. We went to Denny’s after the movie. We seen Suki, the friendly waitress whose voice almost sent Jon into a fit of laughter the last time we ate there. We split an order of delicious “puppies in a basket” and an order of fries. I left the restaurant stuffed.

I’m so ready to go to bed, it’s not even funny. My eyes are struggling to stay open as my fingers race across the black keys of an ergonomic keyboard. I’m on the desktop computer for some reason, even though I have two perfectly working computers in my bedroom. I think I’m going to rip a CD off the desktop iTunes and then go to bed. *Yawn*

I’m off tomorrow, so there will definitely be pictures in tomorrow’s post. And a podcast. Video? Who knows. Make sure to keep reading and commenting!

– Will