Socks + Stickers= I hate POGs.

Today was fun. Really. Super fun. Nothing like a seven-hour shift at work to make you feel like you’re having the time of your life. Just listen to the podcast below and you’ll see what I mean.

I don’t mind seven-hour shifts. They’re not too long, and they’re not too short. They’re perfect. However, I hate sock plan-o-grams. Planograms are a pain in the ass to do in any section, but when corporate sends down an order to change an entire sock section planogram in the Men’s Department across three brands, life goes to shit. Planograms aren’t terrible when you know the people you’re working with are able to keep up with the demands of the sales floor. Today, I was working with one person who has only worked at our store for a few weeks. He’s OK, but he doesn’t know how to do a lot of the tasks that a person in our job position is required to do. He also has a habit of asking people what he should do rather then just doing it. We have a binder in the back room that schedules out every individual associate’s tasks for the day– he should know what he’s supposed to be doing! Besides, he only knows how to do two things: keep the sales floor clean and muck out the fitting rooms. It’s not like there’s much more he can do! After he cleaned out the fitting rooms, he just screwed around for the rest of the hour. Here I am, busting my ass trying to finish a stupid planogram, and he’s sitting at the cash register playing with the laser on the barcode scanner.

When I saw that, I nearly cracked. Instead of succumbing to the ever-growing desire to start screaming obscenities at him, I asked him in an irritated voice what exactly was he doing. He said something about cleaning fitting rooms, and how he couldn’t lie that he was screwing around with the scanner. I’ll give him kudos for being honest, but seeing him mess around with the scanner really made me want to kick babies.

When I heard the toaster oven timer bells going off in the home fashion’s department at the end of the shift, I just smiled and thought, “He might be OK after all.” I showed him last week that the timers on our toaster ovens still work even though the main unit is unplugged. I explained that this was a useful thing to know if one wanted to screw with the cashiers working in the nearby women’s department. The cashiers hear the bells going off from the toaster oven timers and ask everyone, “Did you hear that bell go off?” It’s really fun to mess with them and say, “No, I think you’re hearing things. Maybe it’s time for a break, huh?” (Muahahaha.)

OK, so you probably don’t get why that’s funny, but when you’re near the end of working a multiple hour shift of hell, it’s freaking hilarious.

I never finished the POG, so I’m going to have to finish it on Wednesday. I have to work a split shift on Wednesday. Split shifts suck. On a lighter note, I have tomorrow off. I still want to get some sleep though, so I think I’m going to bail on this post here.

Thank you for reading, listening, and commenting. I love you guys.

– Will