Day 54:

It’s hard to believe that summer began 53 days ago. By simply looking at the number, 53 days seems like an extremely long time… During school, 53 days seemed like an eternity. Having lived through these past fifty-three days of summer, I know that fifty-three days is not a long period of time. Sadly, there are only 29 more days of summer vacation.

29 more days left to avoid accepting the reality of my situation. 29 more days to be a kid. 29 more days to ponder stupid questions. 29 more days to hang out until midnight during weekdays. 29 more days to enjoy lazy days filled with nothing. 29 more days to take a nap whenever I feel like it. 29 more days to happily change the answer to the question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”, on a whim, without actually knowing the true answer. 29 more days to go out and do something with this seemingly endless amount of free time. 29 more days to scoff at back-to-school sections. 29 more days to rock out to “School’s Out for Summer”. 29 more days to lie in the sun, chat with friends about what you want to do next, and dream of going on bike rides by the river. 29 more days of childhood freedom.

From Holden Caulfield’s perspective, 29 more days to live until you become a full-fledged phony.

Thinking about going back-to-school brings up a bag of mixed emotions. I’m excited to get going with the last year of high school so that I can get through it and begin my life. I’m depressed because I wanted to do more with this summer vacation then I’ve been able to do so far. I’m scared of the future and what it might bring. I also feel nostalgic, and I occasionally find myself wondering, “Where the hell did my childhood go?” Time has gone by so fast that it’s scary. Time is also going so slow that it’s aggravating. My mind would be happy to be in any other time, past or future, then where it finds itself at the moment, and the urge to rewind or fast-forward is driving me insane.

I do not know what I should do now, but I know what I can and cannot do. I can’t rewind, and I can’t fast-forward, so all that I can do is wait. Dreaming of escaping to the past will only lead me to a straight-jacket in a cozy padded-room on the fourth floor at Warm Springs. Dreaming of the future will only distract me from my studies later. I have to live in the present. I have to accept the circumstances I find myself in at the present time. I must remain optimistic about the future, and motivated at the present. The past is merely a place to look back on and smile, not a destination.

I’m excited for school. I’m going to spend the next 29 days having as much fun as possible. I’m going to continue preparing for college. I’m going to enjoy my vacation that’s coming in the next few weeks. I’m going to enjoy life.

What are you going to do with the next 29 days? (Let me know in a comment. 😉 )

– Will